Family Less Judgmental members often “push our buttons,” which causes us to become overly irritated and critical. Perhaps your mother constantly asks when you’re getting married or your Aunt Sarah, who is perpetually late.
Most of us have a Less Judgmental family member who annoys us. However, that does not give us the right to react violently. Here are some actions you may take to be less critical, hopefully promoting more harmony within your family.
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1. Pay attention.
Before saying anything harsh and potentially hurting somebody, try to catch yourself. Your words are irrevocable.
Pause. Try to comprehend your family member’s possible point of view. Consider changing your negative internal Less Judgmental thought to a good or at the very least a neutral one. After all, we are unaware of the causes behind a person’s actions.
Always keep in mind that it’s usually not about us when someone disagrees with us or otherwise makes our lives tough. It can be about their suffering or adversity. Because everyone is struggling, Will Smith advised, “never underestimate the pain of a person. Sometimes people are better at hiding it than others.
3. Search for fundamental virtue.
It takes some practice because our minds are wired to look for flaws, but if we look hard enough, we can nearly always find something positive to say about someone. For instance, perhaps the relative who is perpetually late has a flair for spontaneity. Maybe deep down you wish you were more like them.
4. Say the mantra aloud:
Remember, we are more alike than different. “Exactly like me.” I make an effort to remind myself that everyone shares my desire for happiness and the absence of suffering whenever I feel judgmental against someone. Most importantly, just like me, they make mistakes.
Consider the possibility that when a family member does something you don’t like, they are merely coming up with a different solution than you would. Alternatively, maybe they have a different schedule than you. You might find it easier to accept their behavior if you do this. According to the Dalai Lama, people take many different routes in search of happiness and fulfillment. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’ve lost their way just because they’re not on your road.
6. Assume the best while dealing with others.
Nobody gets up in the morning thinking, “I guess I’m going to be a jerk today,” someone once told me. Most of us make the best use of the resources at our disposal right now.
Is Being Judgmental Bad?
Being overly judgmental is definitely something you are aware of on some level, but you may not be aware that it can be detrimental to your mental wellbeing.
Making unjust and useless judgements typically only serves to impede efforts to address a more significant issue. Being overly critical and judgmental can make it very challenging to experience thankfulness, which is essential for happiness and general wellbeing. This can be detrimental to your own self-esteem.
Additionally, constantly being negative is just not pleasant! Even though it’s not always simple, if you attempt to see the good in people, you’ll probably start to feel better as well.
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